Carattini Diary

Chasing My God-Sized Dream

Okay, I’ll be honest.

I don’t  like to tell people what I’m dreaming about.

Why?

Because if it doesn’t happen, if I don’t do it, if something falls through, I then have to explain it over and over, reliving the pain and frustration and heartache again and again.

I don’t like to fail anyone.  

And I know that’s crazy. It is physically impossible to please everyone, but for whatever reason, I actually try to.

It’s the fear of failing people, of letting them down, of not pleasing them that keeps me from chasing after the dreams in my heart.

But no more.

Someone wise recently told me that

“People who sit around and wait for the perfect moment to come will end up missing it. If you don’t just shoot, someone else will beat you to it. So jump and then figure it out as you go”.

It completely terrifies the planner in me, but at the same time, it clicked.  It. Made. Sense.

I can’t just sit around and wait for everything to fall perfectly into my lap. The perfect client, the perfect location, the perfect opportunities. I’ve got to chase after the God- sized dreams in my heart.

I have to just jump and figure it out as I go.

But to do that, I had to give up living in fear. The fear of failing, the fear of letting people down, the fear of disappointing others.

I’d been fighting it for the past few months. Praying and searching, trying to figure out a way to compromise with God. But He wouldn’t let me.

And so finally, FINALLY I gave up being fearful to chase after this God-sized dream of mine, and I found that I can see forever from here.

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